


A Friend in Need

by EventHorizon



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Friendship, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Pre-Johnlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 09:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EventHorizon/pseuds/EventHorizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock has a strange, yet very important, request of Greg Lestrade - arrest John Watson.  Now, Lestrade has to figure out why...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Friend in Need

The rarity of being able to actually leave his desk at a reasonable hour on a Friday evening was so extreme that Lestrade had no memory of what normal people actually did on Friday nights.  And here he was, about to refresh his memory with a few hours at a pub and, if he got lucky, a few more hours with someone _from_ the pub.

      “Lestrade!”

And, of course, a wild Sherlock appears.

      “You must arrest John immediately!”

An insane, wild Sherlock.

      “Must I?  Don’t remember that being on my agenda today.”

      “You are wasting time and time is not something you have in abundance for this.  John must be in custody in no more than… 84  minutes.”

      “That’s very precise.  We like precise in law enforcement.  Now, Mr. Holmes, would you like to tell me the specific charge you feel I should be arresting your flatmate for?”

      “It is irrelevant.  Simply arrest him and be done with it.”

      “I need a charge, sir.  Criminal solicitation of tea?  Inciting a riot due to poor taste in jumpers?  Public intoxication?  No, sorry.  Last one’s me in about an hour.”

      “You are in no manner as amusing as you would like to believe.  And you are not taking seriously my concerns!”

      “Which are what exactly?  You can’t bust in here, Sherlock, and demand I arrest _anyone_ , let alone John, unless you have a damned good reason!”

      “John has a date!”

Sherlock snapped his mouth shut as if he surprised himself with the admission.

      “So?”

      “What do you mean _so_?  John has a date and will not acquiesce to my demand that he cancel.”

      “Oh, did you and he have something planned?  Turned you down for a better offer, did he?”

      “No, and how he occupies himself once his date has been cancelled is not of consequence.”

      “He just can’t go.”

      “Exactly.”

      “Are you taking medication for your mental condition?”

      “This is not a joking matter!”

      “It’s not a police matter, either!”

Lestrade watched the tall detective grab fistfuls of his dark curls and try to contain his frustration.  The strange bit was that Sherlock seemed genuinely distressed by the situation and not simply annoyed that his flatmate wasn’t following his orders.

      “Look, Sherlock… sit down a moment and tell me why you want John arrested.”

      “I have already provided information on that topic.”

      “Yeah, he’s going on a date.  Got that part, but why don’t you _want_ him going out?”

      “It is inconvenient.”

      “You just said you don’t have anything planned and don’t care what he actually does after he chucks his evening out the window.  So you can’t claim inconvenience.”

      “I may require his presence unexpectedly.”

      “Then you call him.  If it’s important, he’ll come.  Surely you know that, by now.”

      “And if he is engaged in… _matters_?”

      “You mean if he’s having a little fun?  Then he’ll come after he comes and you’ll only lose a few minutes.”

      “Spare me your vulgarity.”

      “And spare me your…”

Now that was a sight Lestrade never thought he’d see in Sherlock’s eyes.  Things suddenly became much more clear.

      “…jealousy.”

      “And you dare state _I_ have a mental infirmity.  I never have heard a more nonsensical assertion my life.”

And now trying to hide his embarrassment.  Oh, the poor lad…

      “Sherlock, have you told him?  I mean, did you say something and he rejected you…”

      “Of course I have not said anything!  There is nothing _to_ say.”

      “I’d say there was a lot to say.  Is it because he’s a little older than you?  Because he’s your flatmate?  Just a common person and you’re waiting for a prince?”

      “If you are not going to assist me, then I shall be going.”

      “Nope, you’re sitting right there and talking to me about this.  I’ve never known you to fancy anyone, Sherlock, but if you did, John would be a good one to fancy.  Solid, responsible, decent… and he doesn’t hate you, which puts him one leg up on… well, lots of people.”

      “Not that it is of any importance, since I do _not_ fancy John, but his interest is solely confined to females and, while I am many things, a woman is not one of them.”

      “What makes you think John only dates women?”

      “Let me think... perhaps because he _only_ dates women.”

      “Do you ever actually talk to him?  Not at him, but to him?  I’m thinking you don’t, because if you did you might not be so certain in what you think you know about him.”

Oh, it was a joy to know something that Sherlock Holmes didn’t.  The look of burning curiosity on the boy’s face filled Lestrade with a very shameful pride, but what was life without a little shame for color?

      “Explain yourself.”

      “That’s a pretty philosophical question.”

      “LESTRADE!”

      “Ok… ok.  John may be dating women now because he hasn’t met any men in awhile that he’s willing to date.  He’s pickier about lads than lasses.”

Lestrade was fairly happy with his nonchalant delivery and how many emotions were currently warring for supremacy in Sherlock’s thin frame, making him vibrate like a violin string under a bow.

      “John is attracted to men?”

      “Sometimes.  Like anything, it depends on the person, but yeah, he’s no stranger to an evening out with another man.  He’s also no stranger to _lots_ of things involving other men, if you get my meaning.”

      “You are referring to sex.”

      “I am at that.”

Again, Lestrade could see a war of ideas, perceptions, emotions, assumptions and questions flying through Sherlock’s mind and, not for the first time, he had to wonder if the boy had any foundation to process the situation and his feelings about it.

      “Why do I not know this?”

      “Let’s go back to my question about talking _to_ John and not _at_ him.  Do you ever ask him questions about what he likes?  How he is?  _Who_ he is?”

      “John and I engage frequently in conversation.”

      “And let me guess.  The subject of these conversations is usually you.”

      “It is not my fault that I am extremely interesting.”

      “Now you see… that makes me think that you think John’s _not_.  He probably gets the same idea.  Is that really how you see him?”

      “John has surprised me by evading my ability to accurately predict his behaviors and responses.”

      “And that’s supposed to answer my question?”

      “What do you want me to say?”

      “Look, I know a little about John and what I know I learned because I asked.  I wanted to know more about him because he’s an interesting person.  And because I’m interested in knowing more about him, he shares without being asked, too.  If you don’t know John Watson, it’s because you haven’t wanted to and John’s picked up on that, so he doesn’t bother you with little details like he hates apricots, broke his little toe when he was six or, oh yeah, he’s bisexual.”

      “John talks to you?”

      “Because I talk to _him_.  We get a pint, now and then, and chat.  Watch a match, share war stories…”

      “I despise sporting competitions.”

      “No one’s saying you… Sherlock, sometimes I can’t tell if you’re really not understanding or pretending because you know you don’t understand and hope no one else finds out.”

From the slight pout on Sherlock’s lips, Lestrade had a suspicion that, today, it was the latter.

      “How about this?  You don’t need to watch sports or take John to a pub, but you could do something simple… John likes to read, right?  Ask him what he’s reading when he’s got a book.  Then, ask what it’s about and carry on from there.”

      “John’s taste in books is deplorable.”

      “And here we see the indigenous Sherlock in its natural, solitary state.  Oh, don’t get too close sir, he’s a pretty thing, but doesn’t play nice with others.  Even others he _wants_ to play with, if you take my meaning.”

      “You are juvenile.”

      “And you want to get closer to John, but refuse to even consider taking any advice!”

      “I do _not_ want to get closer to John!”

      “Then why do want him arrested!”

Suddenly, the frustrated roar of the wild Sherlock splits the air ad scares a brace of partridge from their comfortable thicket, scattering them across the overgrown field.

      “Oh, quiet down!  Now, listen to me, it’s alright to be interested in someone… it’s alright to have feelings and it’s alright to worry that what you’re feeling will never go anywhere, even though you might want it to.  I promise… it’s alright.  You just have to decide whether or not you want to _try_ to make it go anywhere.”

      “It is purposeless to speculate on what shall never be.”

That face was, unfortunately, one Lestrade was far too skilled in deciphering.  The sad and lonely boy wanting to peek out and see the world, but too afraid to do it because every time he’s tried, it hasn’t ended well.  It was a look that broke Lestrade’s heart every time he saw it and could do nothing to help.  With a large sigh, the Detective Inspector pushed himself away from his desk, rose to get his jacket and reached into his pocket for a little money, which he tossed in front of Sherlock.

      “I’ll be back soon.  Get yourself some tea while you wait.”

      “Why?  Where are you going?”

      “To arrest John.”

__________

      “WHAT!”

      “Sorry, sir, but you’ll have to come with me.”

      “On what charge?”

      “Suspicion of doing something illegal.”

      “Are you joking?  Did I lose a bet I don’t remember making with you?”

      “Officers of the law are not given to frivolity.”

      “Are you drunk?”

      “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that, sir.  Could be construed as maligning a police officer and I’d have to take you in.”

      “Like you’re already doing.”

      “Efficiency is the hallmark of a well-ordered police force.”

      “Wait here and I’ll get my bag.  I’m worried you’ve got some organic problem that’s making you delusional.  Won’t take a moment…”

      “I’m sorry, Doctor Watson, but if you make me use the cuffs, I will.”

      “You’re serious?”

      “This is my serious face, yes.”

      “And if I say no.”

      “Resisting arrest is a serious offense, sir.”

      “I _cannot_ believe this.”

      “Belief is not required, Doctor Watson, only obedience.”

      “You _will_ be paying for the next ten, no… twenty… pints for whatever it is you’re on about.  And giving me a _real_ explanation.”

      “All requests should be submitted in writing and left at the customer care desk.”

      “Bastard!”

      “Oh, and John… I think you need to make a call, don’t you?”

      “I need legal representation?  Greg, have you gone completely mental?”

      “I meant your date.”

      “My date?...  Sherlock bloody Holmes!  Where is he?”

      “I am not at liberty to discuss the identities of my informants.”

      “He is a dead man.”

      “Adding ‘the making of murderous threats’ to your charge sheet.  I would advise you to not to make matters worse for yourself sir.  OW!  Assaulting an officer!  You’re going down hard for that one.”

      “Do your worst, you filthy cop.  I’ve been taken down by harder men than you!”

      “Actually, that’s sort of what this is about.  Funny that…”

      “Greg, will you please just tell me what’s going on?  I mean, what’s Sherlock gone and done now?”

      “I’m really not at liberty to say, sir… but you might try and recall the conversation we had about a month ago after those tequila shots.”

      “Tequila shots?  Oh… _that_ conversation.  That conversation?”

      “There seems to be an echo in here, sir.  We’d best be off before it gets worse.”

      “Wait a minute!  _That_ conversation.”

      “Too late.”

__________

      “Where’s my change?”

      “Where is John?”

      “Interrogation room.  He’s set for a bit, but that is one angry man at the moment.  I really think you need to go in there and talk to him.”

      “How angry is he?”

      “Sherlock, I just hauled him out of your flat and tossed him into a holding room.  How angry do _you_ think he is?  And remember, it’s John.”

      “Oh, he’s _that_ angry.”

      “You might want to stay out of arm’s reach because I think he wants to strangle someone.”

      “And John _does_ have strong hands.”

      “Use your soothing voice.”

      “Do I _have_ a soothing voice?”

      “Pretend you’re cooing over one of the corpses.  It’ll work just fine.”

__________

      “Oh, John _does_ look angry.”

      “I told you.  Now, just go in there and spin some story to calm him down.  His date’s already scuttled, so try not to make the rest of the night miserable for him, ok?”

      “I shall tell him a mistake was made and you are rectifying the matter.”

      “You do that.  Now, in you go.”

And how convenient that Lestrade had the key to the room in his pocket.

      “LESTRADE!  You will unlock this door immediately!”

      “I will?  Don’t feel your psychic powers taking control of my mind, so I think you’re wrong.”

      “Greg!  What in the hell are you doing?  Let us out of here!”

      “Crap, swallowed the key.  I’ll have to wait for it to come out again.  I’ll go drink some coffee to speed things along.  You two have fun.”

      “LESTRADE!”

      “GREG!”

Lestrade doffed his imaginary cap to his prisoners and decided a little trip out for coffee wasn’t a bad idea.  There was a cozy place not too far away that had very good coffee and _very_ slow service…

__________

**Two hours later**

      “Ok, you two… wait a minute, why are you so rumpled?”

      “I assume John and I are free to leave.”

      “What?  Oh, yeah… all a misunderstanding.  You two are released with our sincere apologies.”

      “Good.  John, are you ready?”

      “More than ready.  Thanks a lot, Greg.  Twenty pints… and I’ll start collecting tomorrow.”

And since John was not even trying to hide the fact that he was holding Sherlock’s hand, Lestrade was more than happy to pay to listen to what was absolutely going to be a very interesting story…


End file.
